By John A. Huguley © 2014
We can find hundreds of books full of ideas on how to make relationship communication work. We can also find relationship charts, relationship maps, and other publications written on how we should interact with each other. However, these are just theories. We should never need a guidebook or require step-by-step instructions on how to interact. When we were children we were encouraged to speak up, we were also taught to respect our peers. Communication as an adult shouldn't be different.
Having good relationship communication can be simple. Respectfully say what's on your mind, be truthful, and avoid doing so when angry. This communication should apply to our relatives, spouses, co-workers, childhood friends, and even the attendant at the neighborhood convenience store. However, far too often people evade honest dialogue, and people sometimes carelessly play mind games. People won't say what they're honestly thinking or feeling. People sometimes want others to do the guesswork and to know what their view of a matter is. Expecting someone to read our mind is selfish and impractical. If a person has something they want to talk about, they should say it. When someone expects another to read their mind, they are setting the other person up for failure. When people fail at guessing what somebody is thinking, it's going to be at the worst possible moment. Instead of subjecting either party to such an unreasonable expectation, it's easier to talk openly and honestly. Also, to avoid misunderstanding, when we express our thoughts, we should do it logically, and never full of emotion, or anger. Heightened emotions will always override the intent of verbal or written communication.
The relationships that last the longest are the ones that have clear communication, respect, and honesty on both sides, not the ones full of rules and regulations to follow. It's the unnecessarily complicated relationships that unavoidably come to an end. However, if each party does their part in eliminating the unnecessary confusions, relationships will have the best chance for long-term success. Furthermore, relationships should never be one-sided where one individual is trying to manage things for both parties. Just like one person should not have to hold back their thoughts to avoid judgments. Everyone should practice regular self-examination.
When approaching each new relationship, do it with respect and truth. Take each new person you meet at face value. It's detrimental to start a new relationship with prior baggage and unreasonable expectations.
In summary, the key to the best relationship communication is for each person to say what's on their mind respectfully and be truthful. Forget about rules, regulations, equations, steps, maps, and theories. Forget about anything that someone put together with the intent of computing life's relationship problems. Instead, we should use common sense. We should talk to each person with respect and honesty. If this approach is practiced, everything else will fall into place, and nobody will need a "communication rulebook” …
Copyright © 2014 - John A. Huguley